09.09.09.
End of an era. Geocities will be gone for good next month, Geocities where I had my first web site in 1997 and many subsequent others. I soon moved on to the teen domain scene. Nope, I wasn't popular there. I was one of a smaller group of angst-filled chicks who wore our mental illnesses on our sleeves.

Or rather, under our sleeves.

We grew up crazy online. You might say we were emo before emo existed, but I wouldn't. I think emo involves more playacting and fewer of the psychiatric hospitals and residential treatment centres that we went through, fewer arrests, expulsions, and comas. During my undergraduate degree, I eschewed going to class in favour of Usenet, ICQ, Notepad, and Photoshop. When I went to grad school in 2004, I didn't have time for my web design hobby.

Oh, I still had websites. But I didn't spend hours making layouts for them. I want to get back to really designing again, rather than slightly tweaking other people's templates. I am tired of playing in a wading pool. I want a whole ocean.

(Maybe I have things to say, too. Things that I can't say in a straightforward way. Some things don't change. Some things don't go away. No matter how hard you try to hide them. And maybe head-on isn't the best way to deal with everything.)

End of an era. Beginning of...?

but what if I'm a mermaid
in these jeans of his with her name still on it
hey but I don't care 'cause sometimes, I said sometimes
I hear my voice and it's been here
silent all these years